The dictionary definition of a ‘habit’ leans on the negative – “a settled or regular tendency or practice, especially one that is hard to give up”.
A habit, though, can be formed for good or bad – a good habit is hard to make, and a bad habit is easy to create. Shaking off bad habits is hard, but quitting good habits is easy.
Our lives are not linear. We perceive ourselves as people who want to improve, and hopefully, over a long enough period, we do become a better version of ourselves. In the short term, however, it can be difficult to see meaningful change, and therefore, we often quit.
Building A Habit
To lose bad habits, we must create good habits in their place. If you want to dive deep into habit change, I recommend you read James Clear’s book Atomic Habits. But let me make it clear (pun intended) that reading books will only get you so far—or it only got me so far.
4 Simple Ways to Build a Habit – According to James Clear
- Make it obvious
- Make it attractive
- Make it easy
- Make it satisfying
Here are my short observations on how I made genuine, meaningful changes to my life, including my business and health – both physical and mental. Although there are many more steps than what I’ve written here, these are the fundamental ones that have proved most beneficial for me.
I regularly remind myself that all aspects of my life are linked. My workout routine affects my working hours (by giving me more energy), my eating habits affect my sleeping patterns (no food after 8pm), my wake-up time affects my entire day (more on accountability later), my social life affects my happiness and my happiness affects all of the above. You get the idea.
Shape Your Identity
A small shift in the way I think about who I am came from Atomic Habits. Let’s say, for example, I was trying to quit smoking – instead of telling others I was trying to quit, I should simply say I am a non-smoker. If I wanted to run three times a week, I would call myself a runner instead of saying I’m getting into running.
This small mental shift has helped me clarify in my own mind the type of person I am, not the person I am becoming or want to be.
Self-Help Books Will Only Get You So Far
My bookshelf is full of self-help books. And if I’m honest, I haven’t read about half of them. A good self-help book is the perfect way to give you a kick up the bum to get from zero to one. After that, you need something else.
I’ve gone from zero to one about a thousand times, then immediately back to zero again. Having a consistent reading habit will help you get past one to two, three or four – but then you have a Catch-22 situation – how do you create the habit in the first place?
A book is your key going into the ignition – you still need the rest of the engine to keep the car running.
The number 1 selling book on Amazon in 2023, across all books, fiction and non-fiction, was Atomic Habits. There is no better book on the subject of habits. Read it, read it again and again until you are no longer at zero.
Start With a Consistent Morning Routine
Good habits are easier to keep if we feel positive. While keeping a consistent morning routine is a habit in itself, it should be one of the first habits you get right.
Conquer your morning and the day will take care of itself.
My mornings for many years have been all over the place; some mornings, my alarm would go off at 7am, I’d hit snooze, and the next thing I know, it’s 9:30. Other mornings, I’d scroll on my phone for an hour and feel guilty for the rest of the day that I’d wasted so much time, with the guilt ending up wasting more time than the scrolling!
The morning is the hardest part of the day, because it is when we are most vulnerable. It is far too easy to roll over and quit before we’ve ever got going.
If you’re reading this, you are likely a freelancer or self-employed. Working for yourself requires full commitment from only you. Working for someone else creates accountability. I need to be at x place at x time, or I might get fired. You can fail being self-employed, but you can’t fire yourself, so sometimes getting out of bed is hard.
I tried and failed for many years to get this right until I found accountability in the form of a Morning Accountability Group.
Find An Accountability Buddy, Group or Get A Therapist
Everything I have written here has come from my own experience and troubles with holding myself accountable for my actions. I’ve been lazy and lacked motivation for too long. I said life is not linear, and I’ve certainly gone through the peaks and troughs of getting my shit together.
Ultimately, you are the only person capable of controlling your own destiny. At the same time, when we come together as human beings, we can create something far more powerful than we can achieve alone.
The single biggest shift in my habit creation has been having others to hold me accountable. Every weekday morning at 8 am I get on a call with up to 9 other people and we talk about our goals and intentions for the day. We have a laugh and we inspire each other to be the best we can be. I have never come away from that meeting feeling anything but wholly ready for the day ahead.
Every Monday lunchtime, I drive 20 minutes to see a life coach. I’m long past needing to piece my life back together, it’s now about staying on track. I continue because for 60 minutes each week, I can speak freely about every emotion that has passed through my body in the last 7 days. I leave feeling energised and ready to tackle another week.
How you choose to find accountability is up to you. Find a friend on a similar path, find a stranger on a similar path, get a life coach, find a therapist, join a community group, join Freelance Friends, or join my Morning Accountability Group.
Get a Calender or ToDo App
Each morning at 6:55 am, my watch sends me a notification to ‘open the window’. This is the first of many reminders I receive throughout the day for routine tasks. These include feeding the dog, taking Omega 3, having lunch, and doing a workout. By adding these to my daily to-do list at the same time, I am gradually forming habits, making these tasks instinctive.
It’s also a tiny motivator to be ticking off tasks throughout the day. I use the app Todoist, which is now my productivity Bible—every idea, task, job, and reminder starts in Todoist.
At 36 years old, I’m only at the beginning of my journey to build my whole life up. It’s never too late to start or start again. Being consistent is the most powerful thing you can do to change your life, just show up everyday.
I hope you found this helpful, if you would like to discuss building a habit, business or anything with me, please send me a DM on Instagram or contact me via our contact page.
I plan to make writing about building a habit into its own habit, so join our newsletter to be kept up to date with my future observations on building a habit.
